i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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