It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
