I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
