were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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