I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
