Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My feet surprised me
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
