you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
