I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
