Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
