Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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