38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
