Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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