K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
