I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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