I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
