i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
