1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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