I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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