so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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