she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
