i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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