That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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