Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

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(425): View more from Washington

Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?

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(904): View more from Florida

Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.

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(561): View more from Florida

I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.

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(435): View more from Utah

Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.

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(209): View more from California

Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

(209): View more from California

And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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(905): View more from Ontario

STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE

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(701): View more from North Dakota

We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.

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(634): View more from

i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on

(665): View more from

good night

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