Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
