just tell him i said nine months
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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