This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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