She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
