soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
