he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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