He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
