"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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