I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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