You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
