Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize