Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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