She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
