Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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