He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize