my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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