You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The power of my boobs compel you
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
