the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
