Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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