OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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