Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
