i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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