My nipple is on Facebook.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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