What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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