he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
