Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
