I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
