Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize