I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
