yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize