I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
