we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
pop tarts are not kleenex
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I will pee on everything he values.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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