Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
