Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
