i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
