What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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