Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
