I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need water and some morals
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
