You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
