I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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