He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
zippers are such a cool invention
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize