For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
