You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
