he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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